Why 2021 Was My Secret Year of F.U. (and I don't mean follow-up)

Shonda Rhimes had her Year of Yes. A.J. Jacobs had his Year of Living Biblically. At the end of 2020, and feeling rather... 2020ed, I decided that 2021 was going to be my Secret Year of F You (euphemism for the delicate among us).

I sense some pearl-clutching. Stay with me.

The keyword is secret. I never actually SAID the phrase to anyone. It was silent self-fortification, a tough-love reminder to unapologetically stand my ground even when someone else won’t like it. Even when that someone is me.

See, I'm a worrier. And I have a high level of imposter syndrome. So when I imagine, for example, speaking to a prospective client about my rates,  this is the conversation that happens in my head.

Imaginary Me: My rate for this project is $X.

Imaginary Client: $X?! How dare you?! That is offensive! Who do you think you are?!?! 

Imaginary Me BEFORE secret theme phrase: I'm sorry! You’re right! What do you want to pay me? Please still want to work with me!

Playing this conversation in my head, I tended to lowball my rates for fear I would "offend" a prospective client.

But...

Imaginary ME AFTER secret theme phrase:  You’re offended by my rate? F you. You can’t afford me, say so, but I have every right to charge what I charge. I’m worth it.

My resolve steeled, I would set my rates more appropriately. Then, here's how the actual conversation usually went.

Me: My rate is $X.
Client: That's above our budget.
Me: I'm happy to discuss adjusting the scope to fit with your budget. What are you thinking? Let's see if I can work with that.

Indeed, prospective clients rarely expressed irritation or offense at my rates (and certainly not to the extreme degree I’d pictured!). Imagining that was the good old imposter syndrome at work. But even when they said, “that’s outside our budget” or “that’s higher than I was expecting,” I learned not to apologize or backpedal. I’m always happy to try to find a meeting of the minds,  but now that means we each give a little. Before, my mindset was more: “Oh no! Bend over backwards to get this client! Offer my basement floor minimum and be willing to go even lower!” 

But, you may ask,  why the choice word, even silently? Why not say "No, sir" or "shut up" or "Bless your heart" in my head? It's because sometimes you need that uncompromising slap-in-your-own-face harshness to remind you to not fold like a cheap lawn chair. You need to be able to reach your inner tough, take-no-prisoners badass bitch, and unleash her (or him/them) on … yourself. There's just no negotiating with – no euphemism – "fuck you." Then when it’s time to actually negotiate with another person, it’s in an "I move, you move" kind of way, not in an "I’m sorry, I'll give in" way.

Or, let's imagine a conversation between what we'll call my Inner Worrier and my Inner Warrior.

Worrier: Oh no, will Prospective Client be offended by my quarterly/semi-annual follow-ups? Will they think I'm too pushy?

Warrior: If you're put off by a check-in email 2-4 times a year, f___ you. If you want me to stop, say so, don't just hope I'll go away, you weenie.

Inner Warrior doesn't suffer fools. Inner Worrier wastes a lot of my time.

But more often than not, the secret "eff you" was more self-directed.

Struggling to hold that yoga pose? Duck you, discomfort, I can overcome you. Drowning in panic and self-doubt? F you, anxiety, I am stronger than you (or at least I'm doing a lot of therapy and deep breathing). Losing my …. shiitake mushrooms at the child/spouse when they don’t really deserve it? Felix Unger, bad temper, I am learning patience and mindfulness.

 Now, did this exercise always have its desired effect? Of course not. I didn’t always have the fortitude to say no, or keep my calm, or hold my ground (or hold that warrior two pose),  but it reminded me – and I remind you: A, to not always sweat what other people think so much; B, to ask for what you want; and C, we are stronger than we think we are. And as a result, I made some meaningful strides in both my personal and my business life, including turning down prospective bad clients rather than working from a fear-based scarcity mindset, and increasing my year-over-year income by nearly 70 percent.  Anyway, I recommend this tactic.

I'm going to continue silently applying my no-longer-secret phrase moving forward,  but I think I've internalized the practice enough that I can choose a new central theme for 2022, maybe even a not-secret one. I'm working on what that might be. Stay tuned.

Then Came the Last Days of May

May was a busy month. I began work with two clients I’d been courting for a long time. Running a freelance business takes a lot of patience, which is not necessarily a natural gift for me. Obviously, I’m still catching up on these blog posts. The goal is to be up to date by mid-September, then continue monthly from there. Any feedback on what is or is not helpful to let you get to know me better as a business owner, freelancer, writer/editor, and person is appreciated. Without further ado, here’s how May shaped up:

• Helped graphic designer Christy Batta of Christy Batta Designs go behind the scenes of her work creating a logo for Discover Bonifant, a coalition of small businesses in Silver Spring, Maryland. I love my collaboration with Christy. My role is to help guide her through creating her monthly blogs — asking questions, giving feedback, making suggestions — from the incarnation to the publication. It’s a combination of coach and editor, almost like a blogging doula.

• Continued working to edit DE&I and sustainability reports for a major media corporation through my aforementioned (see April entry) NDA client, henceforth referred to as Client Z. And at another juncture, we’ll talk about NDAs. Throughout the process, a lot of questions about conscious language arose, such as whether the term BIPOC or person of color is preferable. I offered to create a conscious language guide for the company to have as a resource for clients who might not have set standards on certain usages.

• Began working on a feature story for CASE, Council for Advancement and Support of Education. I did some copy editing and fact-checking for CASE a few years ago and have since kept in touch, through a few rounds of editors, but this was my first time writing for them. Freelancing can be a long game, which is hard when you like instant gratification (who doesn’t?!)

• Edited weekly newsletters for ASJA, the American Society of Journalists and Authors. This is a volunteer position, and the ONLY work I do for no pay. I consider it a contribution to my community and an investment of time into networking.

• Wrote a pillar page on leveraging audio advertising for Viant by Adelphic, an omni demand-side platform. I started working with Viant in late 2020. The content manager is a friend and was a classmate at Medill. It’s my first foray into ad tech writing and though I admit I’m a little intimidated, I hope to continue to develop this niche.

• Began work with a new client, American Communities Project, on a story about the challenges faced by parents in the urban suburb of Silver Spring, MD (where I happen to live) to find affordable childcare. I first connected with the editor of ACP, Ari Pinkus, in 2017 as she was departing the National Association of Independent Schools. Since then we’ve stayed in touch intermittently. We were glad to finally have an opportunity to work together. This is definitely an example of how so much of the key to growing your freelance business is building relationships.

• On the note of relationships, through ASJA I randomly reconnected with a former colleague I’d worked with almost 20 years ago. I love these small world moments.

• Also through ASJA I participated in TeleConnections, which provides members with the opportunity to sign up for fast (9-minute!) introductory phone calls with the leaders of numerous publications, content marketing agencies, and publishing houses. I felt like my calls all went well, but my biggest challenge is probably going to be coming up with pitches. I often find pitch culture to be discouraging.

• Wrote and submitted a story to the University of Pennsylvania on alumnus Chris Bennett, founder of Wonderschool — a platform and software to support early education programs and microschools.

I’m still catching up and getting the hang of these monthly summary posts, figuring out the best use to make of this blog. Get in touch with me at hello@redpeneditorial.co.

What's Going On... and what will be

So, it’s been a while. Between client work, marketing, and parenting an increasingly active toddler, actually doing work on my own content seems to be the thing that falls by the wayside. I would really like to fix this.

Last week, I was listening to the 100th episode of my favorite freelancing podcast, Deliberate Freelancer, hosted by fellow writer and editor Melanie Padgett Powers (who also happens to be a neighbor and a real life friend). She was interviewing another freelance writing heroine, Jennifer Goforth Gregory, and they were talking about keeping portfolios updated. Melanie, who as a managing editor, often hires writers, made a good point that she wants to know what folks have been publishing recently. It makes perfect sense.

I, you may have noticed, organize my clips by topic. And since I have more than a thousand bylines to my name, and no one wants me to share all of those, I limit my clips to highlights. But after listening to the Deliberate Freelancer episode, I’ve decided to add a “Recent Clips” section to my work page. So that’s something new coming up here at Red Pen Editorial Services.

But here’s the tiny glitch (besides the fact that I’m not always good about diligently updating my portfolio). As the company name suggests, I provide additional services beyond writing, i.e. editing. Even when I am writing, not all of my work is bylined. And some of my clients don’t even allow me to state publicly that I’ve written for them, or edited their work. That’s a whole ball of wax we’ll dive into at a later date. Frankly, I think it’s a lot of piffle, but with clients and toddlers, you learn to pick your battles.

Which leads to Goal #2. Each month, I want to write a post to share what I’ve been up to, in a way that doesn’t violate any of my contract terms. For instance, this spring, a few of my projects included copy editing DE&I and sustainability reports for a major media company, writing a feature for an education association and a couple of profiles for alumni magazines (all of which I can link upon publication), writing a blog post on addressable TV advertising vs OTT advertising for an ad tech company (which earned a featured snippet on Google), publishing a piece for one of my regular clients, Northern Virginia Magazine, on preparing children for the return to school, and have continued to serve as the volunteer editor of the ASJA Weekly newsletter editor for the American Society of Journalists and Authors.

I also hope to share interesting articles I’ve read, learning experiences (such as attending the ASJA virtual conference), and maybe even some lessons and frustrations. I’m excited to keep you updated! In advance, thanks for riding along with me.

All the best,

Holly

To Those Who Love a Freelancer

I’ll get to you in a minute. First, I’m going to address my brethren.

Dear fellow freelancers, tell me if this sounds familiar: While exploring prospective clients, you realize that someone you are close with knows a person at a company you’d like to connect with. So falling back on the old “it’s who you know” adage (#networking!), you contact your friend or family member and say something along these lines: “Hey, I see you know Person A at Company B. I’d love to offer them my writing services. Would you mind introducing me so I can ask the best way to go about that?”

Sound familiar so far? And now here’s the kicker. Your friend/relative/colleague responds with: “Well, I don’t want to impose” or “I’d be uncomfortable asking for a favor.”

Sigh.

Dear folks who love a freelancer: Thanks for waiting. Now I’ll get to you.

If you’ve uttered words such as cited above, you need to reframe your perspective. When your freelancer friend or family member — and we’re talking about people who are experienced, published writers — asks you to make an introduction, don’t look at it as asking for a favor. Look at it as presenting an opportunity.

Companies are increasingly using content marketing to educate and retain customers. That means smart companies want strong writers. When we freelance writers introduce ourselves to a prospective client, either via a letter of introduction (LOI) or a personal contact (that’s you), we are not begging for work. We are offering our services — services that have the strong potential to improve business-client/customer relationships.

So the next time your freelancing loved one asks, “Hey, can you introduce me to your friend at Company B*?” remember: You aren’t “asking for a favor.” You are fostering an introduction that will hopefully lead to a mutually beneficial business relationship.

Isn’t that a better way to look at it?

* If “Company B” makes you hear “Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy” in your head, a virtual handshake and tip of the hat to you.

Countdown to 40

March 29, 2019: My 39th birthday. This means I have entered my 40th year of life. That’s what a birthday is. A completion of a year. It’s the last year before a big milestone (supposedly).

Now, I don’t know about you, but I’d like to set fire to all the mental and physical lists of things we “should” have “achieved” by the time we’re X years old. Those things are designed to breed feelings of inadequecy. See, all of those artificial timelines and “30 things you should have by the time you’re 30,” and “40 under 40” lists … those are terrible, terrible things.

So why am I making a 40 things list? And why am I writing about it on my business website?

Well, first, this list is strictly for me. You’re welcome to borrow anything you want off it, but this isn’t me telling you “this is what you ought to do,” it’s “this is how I’d like to spend the last year of my 30s.”

Second, as a freelance business owner, you have to think a lot about mindset. In the first episode of her new podcast, Deliberate Freelancer, Melanie Padgett Powers discusses the mindset of acknowledging oneself as a business owner.

I’ve been freelancing since 2013 — we’ll talk about the origins of that at another time — but I never thought of myself as a business owner. In June of 2018, six months pregnant with my daughter, I launched Red Pen Editorial Services. Did the clients come pouring in? No. But now instead of just going from gig to gig, I am building something. Slowly, stumblingly, sometimes painfully. And you can’t deny that the better your personal mindset, the better your business one.

This idea was inspired, in part, by listening to an interview with author James Clear on the High Income Business Writing podcast, hosted by Ed Gandia. If you’re a freelancer, or freelance business owner, or a person who wants be “good at life,” these are names you should know. Clear’s theory of atomic habits talks about creating better life/work systems by improving just a little each day. I might be getting that wrong.

Ten years ago, on my 29th birthday, a friend asked me what I’d learned in the past year. Three hundred and sixty-five days from now, I’d like to have a good answer to that question. This list is about a lot of small steps. Some things are to be built over time, others will be done all at once. Some are personal. There are others that are too personal to put online. Some are business. I hope most will inform both. My ultimate goal, the one thing I truly want to learn: How to be someone my daughter can be proud of.

Anyway, here we go … 40 Things to Learn, Books to Read, Plans to Set, Habits to Make or Break, and A Bunch of Other Crap to Do and/or Work Toward By the Time I Turn 40 — A 365 Day Countdown:

1) Actually read “Atomic Habits,” by James Clear
2) Get in bed before midnight on weekdays
3) Be able to get out of bed without pain
4) Read for pleasure every day
5) Get my daughter’s baby journal up to date
6) Reread “Little Women”
7) Pay my bills on the same day every month
8) Learn to bake macarons
9) Wait 30 minutes in the morning before looking at the internet
10) Sell something I knitted (knit? What’s the past tense of knit?)
11) Drink more water
12) Ask for better rates without feeling guilty
13) Actually declutter. Like, the full Kondo.
14) Find some clothes that “spark joy” — even on my post-baby body
15) Plan and prepare meals ahead of time
16) Get away from the computer/phone an hour before I go to sleep
17) Reduce my use of verbal fillers
18) Finish reading “Writing Without Bullshit” by Josh Bernoff
19) Learn how to not only write without, but live without bullshit. Okay, less. Less bullshit. Reduce bullshit. Minimize bullshit.
20) Try mindfulness. Again. For 30 days. For 3 minutes a day for 30 days. Then if I still feel like it’s not the thing for me, be good with saying so.
21) Grasp some concept of what SEO means, beyond the actual defintion
22) Post at least one blog a month. Hopefully more, but small steps
23) Find an anchor client that PAYS WELL
24) Bake my daughter a birthday cake from scratch
25) Get comfortable (ish) driving alone with my baby
26) Learn how to be comfortable saying some version of “if you forgive me for not answering that, I’ll forgive you for asking it.”
27) Pitch five stories to national magazines (pitching SUCKS — topic for another day)
28) Read “Dreyer’s English” by Benjamin Dreyer
29) Get (and use) a Met Opera On Demand subscription (I miss New York! If you’re there and you’ve never been, go to the opera)
30) Learn how to plant and grow something
31) Attend a conference for work (I’m thinking ACES: The Society for Editing)
32) Start therapy again
33) Compile a honeymoon photo album (we went in 2017 — oops)
34) Ask for (and earn) at least $100/hour
35) Volunteer
36) Stop allowing people (and myself) to make me “feel inferior without my consent” - Eleanor Roosevelt
37) Learn the basics of using a sewing machine
38) Be sought out by clients
39) Plan a family vacation
40) Reread Jane Austen

Hitting the Accent

This is an interesting article from the June 23, 2018 Sunday New York Times. 

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/06/23/insider/mexico-world-cup-spanish-accent-marks.html

Paulina Chavira, an editor at The New York Times en Español in the Mexico City bureau, lobbied to have proper accents added to the jerseys of the Mexican National soccer (fútbol) team. The lack of accent, the article clarifies, is akin to a spelling error. 

"A simple accent may seem trivial for a lot of people, but its presence or its absence changes the way we pronounce a word, and sometimes even its meaning," Chavira is quoted as saying. 

Indeed, if we are as dedicated as we say we are to representing people as they wish to be represented - such as using a person's pronoun of choice - shouldn't it be just as important to be certain we're spelling that person's name correctly? It's a small change, but it can make a big difference to someone. 

Discovering Unknown Women Writers

One of the best ways to become a better writer is to read more. While the deluge of social media certainly spoonfeeds (and sometimes force feeds) us plenty of options for reading, sometimes we need to seek things out, rather than just reading what's readily available.

I was intrigued by this obituary in the June 22 New York Times, about Nina Baym, a professor who dedicated her career to the discovery of unknown women writers. In college, I chose a major in women's studies because I was interested in looking at history, literature, culture, etc. through a lens that was different from what I'd always studied previously. (And because I was flunking statistics, which pretty much screwed my psych major. #brutalhonesty). 

From the obituary, by writer Neil Genzingler, a quote from Professor Baym:

“Today we hear of this literature, if at all, chiefly through detractors who deplore the feminizing — and hence degradation — of the noble art of letters. A segment of literary history is thus lost to us, a segment that may be of special interest today as we seek to recover and understand the experiences of women.
I have not unearthed a forgotten Jane Austen or George Eliot, or hit upon even one novel that I would propose to set alongside ‘The Scarlet Letter.’ Yet I cannot avoid the belief that ‘purely’ literary criteria, as they have been employed to identify the best American works, have inevitably had a bias in favor of things male — in favor, say, of whaling ships rather than the sewing circle as a symbol of the human community; in favor of satires on domineering mothers, shrewish wives, or betraying mistresses rather than tyrannical fathers, abusive husbands, or philandering suitors.”

Please read Professor Baym's obituary in full here: https://www.nytimes.com/2018/06/22/obituaries/nina-baym-who-brought-novels-by-women-to-light-dies-at-82.html
 

Discussion questions: 
1) Tell us about a little-known female writer (or writer of color, LGBT writer, etc) you admire and why. How did you come to know of this person's work?
2) What do you think the value is in uncovering the work of writers who are not considered to be part of the literary canon, or otherwise well-known?
3) Why was Professor Baym's quest to discover the work of unknown female authors important? Or, conversely, why was it unimportant?